Something about a Texan joke.

How long have you been a member?

At least a day.

Edit— long enough to not be surprised that this T-shirt posted in the count to 1,000 thread means “its” when it says “it’s.”

Texas, the special ed state.


Fetal , agree with you one hundred percent.

Fucking Philistines.

I can’t believe I’m about to do this @FetalInjury , But I’m about to explain Texas humor to someone I’m thinking is not a Texan (I’m not either, so this is offering an interpretation… albeit a poor one)

“It’s” is not a typo. It is meant to be a contraction. Like “Yea, and it is 49, bitches” as in… "Your USA only has 49 states, not 50… because Texas succeeded and is a sovereign union.

So, as poor taste as it is, the joke flows as such… “United State of America” - “You Mean TEXAS” (as in the succeeded sovereign nation of) - (implied and) “It’s 49 bitches” (Texas aint a state in your shitty country) …

Now, i’m not positive on this, but I’m pretty sure that is the line of reasoning behind the shirt.


I think you are correct in the observation that it would be MUCH funny if it said “United States of America” - “You Mean TEXAS and its 49 bitches” (as in Texas and the other 49 bitch states)…

that is WAAAAYYYYY funnier. And if that is what they were shooting for, it was an utter failure.

Maybe @TEXENT can offer some insight.

This got deep but I will point out you can interject any other subpar state in there and make the same statement, albeit preposterous. Therefore, I am inclined to mention it’s not necessarily Texan humor, merely a humorous Texan who posted it initially.

Fucking hell, too many big words.



Think about the language used, and if you were to speak it rather than read it… or maybe move your lips as you read it as Texans are wont to do.

The shirt begins with the statement, “United States of America” [sic]. We are given an entity we know is composed of 50 incorporated entities, and a few extraneous territories, but we’ll ignore the territories and focus on the major components; the states.

We are then given a correction of sorts when our esteemed author exclaims, “YOU MEAN.” This fragment is there to give the mind a subtle nudge that our earlier assumptions of the USA were incorrect. What follows after YOU MEAN is reality.

Texas, and it’s 49 bitches. No matter how you try to rationalize this, it is incorrect grammar. The only way you might even conceivably be correct in your assessment is that only Texans are able to comprehend such drivel because they are, in truth, retarded.

Say this aloud.

United States of America. You Mean Texas, and it is 49 bitches!

This makes absolutely no fucking sense unless you have water on the brain. I’m sorry if my language might assume you don’t as I’m maybe a bit too verbose for someone who does have a moist medulla oblongata.

Let me rephrase in retardese: Words no sound good when say.

For “Texas and it is (it’s) 49 bitches” to make any sense it would have to be if a 2 part question was asked, and that question was, ‘Name a state spelled with 5 letters, and how many bitches exist within that area?’

The only way that particular word order makes sense is if the author meant to say “its.” Say it out loud. “United States of America? You MEAN Texas and its 49 bitches!”

Ultimately the face value sentiment of Texas being big, and a main part, or at least “special” member of such an esteemed union is the main gist of the T-shirt. Any commas which might change the meaning of the words due to pauses must be implied with the word order of the T-shirt, so assuming “bitches” is an appositive for the reader goes way beyond what’s expected for T-shirt readers. In this case, as in most cases, Occam’s Razor must apply.

Where the T-shirt would become next level funny is if Texans were self-aware enough to realize this makes them seem dumb, and laughed along in self deprecation.

Your statement leads me to believe this isn’t the case because if a former SPED student from another state doesn’t get it, Texans most assuredly won’t.

Now, since I’ve used quite a few words, and I’m sure you, being a typical troglodyte, fell asleep somewhere during my lecture let me sum it up in a way you, and your great-grandchildren’s children, who will eventually lose the power of speech because they don’t understand grammar, can understand…


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These posts were moved since they had nothing to do with AC spoilers…

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Give them shit @unobtainaballs. I approve.

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I wasn’t sure where the fuck these came from. But there’s some Expert level posting in this thread.


OMG…this thread has made me laugh out load…my work is shitty enough to make me cry right now…but GRG: than you thank you thank you

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When I say it aloud I am reading it punctuated as such:
“United States of America. You mean Texas! And, it is 49, bitches!”

But I’m not in the least suggesting my personal interpretation is in any way correct…
It is just one way the grammar could still be poor, but sort of correct? Maybe?

And this particular troglodyte read every syllable, punctuation, and even reveled in the apt use of Occam’s Razor. I found your post most enjoyable and entertaining.

I still disagree with the generalization of all Texans as un-educated buffoons… although there is documented photographic evidence that at least one exists.

@unobtainaballs was this conversation part of a AC spoiler thread?
had no clue…

You assholes hijacked the thread.

Boot them.

boot them all